Everything? Really??
“You Haven’t Tried Everything.
You’ve Tried Everything You Already Believe In.”
A love letter to the proudly stuck.
Let’s talk about that phrase. That magical, mystical, totally bulletproof sentence people deploy when life isn’t working:
“I’ve tried everything, and nothing works.”
Everything?
Really?
Everything-everything?
Because unless you’ve just walked out of a decade-long clinical trial, carrying a clipboard of peer-reviewed data and wearing a lab coat still warm from the ethics board, I’m going to gently suggest…
No.
You’ve tried everything you personally approve of— which is not the same thing. At all.
And honestly?
It’s not your fault.
This is what humans do.
We cling to the familiar like a toddler clinging to a biscuit they dropped on the floor two hours ago: “BUT IT’S MINE.”
Your Worldview Isn’t the Problem… Until It Is
There comes a point — usually around the age of “I can’t keep doing this” — when our confidence in our own opinions hardens like week-old porridge.
We stop being curious.
We stop asking questions.
And we definitely stop listening to anyone who knows more than we do, because that would mean confronting the possibility that our DIY approach to wellbeing, powered by vibes and Google, might not have been the gold standard of human health after all.
Which brings me to the awkward bit — the part where I lovingly lift your chin and say:
You might be the world expert on your problem…
but you’re probably not the expert on the solution.
And that’s not an insult.
That’s just how expertise… works.
If you’ve spent 10–20 years perfecting the skill of feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed, guilty, wired, foggy, or permanently “meh,” then yes — congratulations. You are the leading researcher of your own misery.
But being an expert on the pattern doesn’t make you an expert on breaking it.
When “I Already Know That” Becomes a Trap
Here’s where arrogance sneaks in — the quiet, insidious kind no one admits to because it doesn’t feel like arrogance.
It feels like certainty.
It sounds like:
“Exercise doesn’t work for me.”
“Meditation makes me more stressed.”
“I already tried eating better. Didn’t help.”
“I know all this stuff anyway.”
“Yeah but I can’t because (insert coping strategy you will fight anyone to protect).”
This isn’t stupidity.
It’s not laziness.
It’s not failure.
It’s just the brain doing what the brain does:
protecting the worldview it already understands.
Because trying something new means two terrifying things:
You might have to admit you haven’t cracked it yet.
You might have to let someone help you.
And for the proudly self-sufficient, chronically burnt-out Gen-Xer whose entire identity has been built on “I’ll figure it out myself”…
That’s basically emotional nudity.
You Don’t Need to Be Humble. You Just Need to Be a Beginner Again.
This isn’t about grovelling humility or “emptying your cup” or any of the other spiritual bumper stickers you’ve rolled your eyes at.
It’s about being just open enough to consider that:
If you’re stuck,
And you keep doing the same things,
And your results are identical,
And your coping strategies are welded to your soul like emotional bubblewrap…
…maybe the problem isn’t that “nothing works.”
Maybe the problem is that nothing that fits your existing worldview works.
That’s where beginner mindset comes in — not as a fluffy concept but as a practical survival tactic.
Beginner mindset says:
“I don’t have to know everything.
I just have to be curious enough to find out.”
Because Here’s the Truth You Don’t Want but Absolutely Need
People like me — coaches, specialists, practitioners, humans who spend years learning how food, stress, sleep, nervous systems, coping strategies and human behaviour actually work — we’re not trying to prove you wrong.
We’re trying to help you get your life back.
You’re the expert on your experience.
But we’re experts on what to do with that experience so it stops running your life into the ground.
And when we suggest something new, or different, or weird, or counter-intuitive, we’re not judging you.
We’re offering you the door.
Whether you walk through it depends on whether you’re willing to unclench the iron grip you have on the belief that you’ve “tried everything.”
Try This Instead
Replace:
“I’ve tried everything.”
With:
“I’ve tried everything I’m already comfortable with — maybe it’s time to try something I’m not.”
Replace:
“I already know this.”
With:
“I know some things… but maybe someone else knows something I don’t.”
Replace:
“Nothing works for me.”
With:
“Nothing I’ve done so far has worked the way I want — so what now?”
Beginner mindset isn’t about being naïve.
It’s about being strategic.
It’s about choosing curiosity over ego, solutions over certainty, and relief over righteousness.
Because the truth is simple:
You don’t need to be right.
You need to get better.
And the first step is loosening your grip on the belief that you’ve already cracked the code.
You haven’t.
But you can.
And that starts with being open enough to try what you haven’t tried yet.
